ThE STROnGER Sex(read if vella)

We always hear "the rules" from the female side. Now here are the rules
from the male side. These are our rules! Please note ... these are
all numbered '1' ON PURPOSE!

1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down. We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.

1. Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are never going to think of it that way.

1. Crying is blackmail.

1. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one: Subtle hints do not work! Strong hints do not work! Obvious hints do not work! Just say it!

1. Yes, and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.

1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.

1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor.

1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 days.

1. If you won't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls, don't expect us to act like soap opera guys.

1. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us.

1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways, and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.

1. You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it done. Not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.

1. Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during commercials.

1. Christopher Columbus did not need directions and neither do we.

1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings. Peach, for example, is a fruit, not a color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.

1. If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that.

1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," we will act like nothing's wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.

1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, expect an answer you don't want to hear.

1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine. Really.

1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as baseball, the shotgun formation, or monster trucks.

1. You have enough clothes.

1. You have too many shoes.

1. I am in shape. Round is a shape.

Frnds n Fools

wats a frnd...it seems like one f thos easy questions but d answer is tougher than u think.. d fact of d matter is we still dnt no ...its a paradox for most f us and with dis cus a tuff lesson, and unfortunately it seems, u only learn dis by living, television doesn’t teach it, schools dont teach it, and if your above a certain age, our parents dint teach it. you have to learn it by living, by thinkin of some1 as a frnd, only to find out they dnt think of u as 1. it can be devastating, i know, believe me ive been der myself but all the wishing, all the manipulation, all the determination, just serves to push the wud-be friend further away. Because friendship is something you choose to do, you dont do it out of a sense of obligation, to force some1 to be a friend is to not have a friend.

i learned alot bout frnds through alot f stupid n dumb situations iv been in...most f u who no me well no wat im talkin bout. i learned that a friend is some1 i trust to b wid me when im at my weakest and most vulnerable. nd they are people who no matter how painful it is to see are willing to be with me when im so helpless and weak. if i wud trust my life with u, and vice versa, we r frnds. it aint bout whether u are trustworthy, or whether u are friendly, its the actual act of trust that is the basis of friendship. If i trust u to be truthful, then youre a friend. if i find i must be careful how i say things, then its sumthin other than friendship.

Friendship aint a state of mind, its an act. its sumthing u do, its not about whether ur good or not, its not a reflection of u, its a balanced relationship between ppl. dat dsnt mean its always balanced at every moment. Sumtimes u “need a friend” and other times its the other way. its a trust thats returned.

few years bak a person i knw thot he was in love, a frnd(me) said its not love unless its returned. friendship and love are not quite the same thing, although theres a lot of love around friendship. I learned that love isnt even something about two people, it’s a state of being for one person. You arent in love, you are love. u are, whether you acknowledge it or not. D heart dat’s pumping blood through ur body is an act of love, 24 hours a day, whether ur Mother Teresa or even Hitler.ders a world of morons nd imbeciles who cant c d difference between being a friend and being a peer. ive heard people who ive never met say were friends. And then of course when I do something they dont like, ive betrayed the supposed friendship. They are livin in a dreamworld. wakeup assholes, ur frnd aint here....

introfuction

o.k....its been a long time since i rote nethin so bear wid d bullshit...lets see....well leme rite sumthin bout myself.. my name is adam hooper...yes its me....ok..lets talk bout sumthin pissin d daylights outta me past few years..yes..Years..This is our life and it's ending one minute at a time so leme get on wid it , If you are reading this then this warning is for you. evry word you read of this useless blog is another second off your life. dont you have other things to do? is your life so empty that you honestly can't think of a better way to spend these moments? Or are you so impressed with authority that you give respect and credence to all that claim it? do you read everything you're supposed to read? do you think every thing you're supposed to think? Buy what you're told to want? get out of your apartment. Meet a member of the opposite sex.. Quit your job. Prove you're alive. If you don't claim your humanity you will become a statistic. you have been warned....
i dont like people in general...except a given few...n d ppl i dnt like already must b knowin it..if not ..now i hope u do....y do i dislike dem..dats d main point... im not an introvert..its jus dat,i dnt like u..ders a difference..ive been told i kinda cum off as a guy wid a superiority complx or a person wid a lotta attitude..well..no its not dat 2...i dont think im better than u..i jus dont care bout u...wat i mean is dat i care bout myself more den ne1 else..n most f you hypocritical woks also do but jus hav 2 cum off as sumthin ur not..now i said most, not all.... i hope i got in everyone's hostile little faces neway enuf wid d adjectives..leme giv u a proper introduction ..so i started smoking at 14, lost my virginity at 17 and did every kind of drug there was by 16. Pretty much any drug you can name, I've done it. I wouldn't say I was bad or malicious, I was just curious. I certainly had my little experiences with drugs. Eventually, you see where that's headed and you get out...and i did...
ok..teme wats a frnd??..evry1s got der own lil definition f wat a friend is...a frnd is???
most ppl wud cum with d "a frnd is sum1 who will be der for u when u need them"..maybe, maybe not...so wat den,u gonna keep waitin for sumthin 2 happen 2 you n den sum1 help u out n den shake hands bcum frnds..nahh!!...u no who ur frnds r already..u jus havnt thot if it in a differen perspective..so den y all d hypocritical bullcrap bout xchangin fone numbrs n using d ol expression"lets catch up sumtime"..evry1 pretends 2 b all pally wid 1 another n all f dat..i c it happnin all round me n it jus pisses me off... so i say never be complete, I say stop being perfect, i say let... lets evolve, let the chips fall where they may. but wat am i gonna do bout it ..well,what can i do bout it..nthin..we live in a free country..presumibly n evry1s got their own opinions n stuff.lalala..bull...We're the middle children of history here n yet v cant b honest bout wat we actually feel bout each other..we all no dat on a long enuf timeline, the survival rate for every1 drops to zero..(heard dat sumver).. dis is stupid..so leme go cool off, get sleep, do something, come back when im ready to actually start writin